Starting over seems like a drab to most of us. It’s like we have a hard time doing it because we believe we have reached a point in our lives where we have been there before, we’re concerned about what people will think, we believe we’re too old to start over again or, and this is a big one, we are TOO EMBARASSED to start over again. Regardless of what your reasoning is I am here to tell you that you can begin again. How do I know? Because I have done it.
I don’t talk too much about this topic in regard to my personal life (yet), but I will mention it now. Being a single woman at the tender age of 37 with no children is no small thing for me. I swore that I was going to be married by the age of 25 with at least 2 children and living my dream life. But partially because God had better plans for me and partially because I thought I had better plans than God…here I am. It took me a while to get to a place of being content with my singleness. At one point I even agreed to be in a relationship with a guy who had a newborn baby. Like, 3 weeks fresh out the womb newborn baby. Of course, it didn’t last (won’t God do it), but I wasted more time trying to force something that I knew from the beginning wasn’t going to last rather than waiting for my husband as I did with every other relationship beforehand. I will say this though, they weren’t all a waste of time. Without saying too much, there was this one relationship that was more than what I could have imagined. Ending it was very difficult, but it was necessary at the time. Growth needed to take place on both ends. So in order to do that we had to part ways.
Now, that doesn’t mean that me and that person need to rekindle what we once had, unless God says otherwise, but if that never happens, I am okay with that. Why? Because I know what God has promised me and I don’t serve a God that lies. See, what we fail to realize when we are faced with life’s obstacles is that what God says about us and what He has for us trumps every obstacle and every fear. I know what God promised me about having a husband and having children. I have so much faith in His promise that I have asked my grandmother to knit me 3 baby blankets for my children to have something personal from her when they are born. You’re starting over process may not be relationship related, but whatever it is you have to trust and believe what God has told you. And if you are having difficulty figuring that part out go back and analyze when the thought first came about. Did God really make that promise to you or did you convince yourself that He did, and you put His name on it wanting Him to make it happen because you prematurely told everybody that He would?
I would like to encourage you further in regard to the four points that I have listed above as reasons why we’re afraid to start over again.
“I’ve been here before!”
Job 13:15 “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him.”
For those that know the story of Job, we remember that he was a wealthy man and was favored by God. However, his life took an interesting turn and he lost his family, his wealth and his health. God used Job to prove to the devil that there are people that will serve Him even if what they possessed, worked for or desired was all taken away from them. This wasn’t an easy process for Job because he didn’t know why it was all happening. There was even a point where he wished he hadn’t been born. BUT (somebody say “but”), in spite of everything Job had been through he uttered the words, “though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him.” And because of Job’s faithfulness to God, He restored Job’s health, blessed him with twice as much property as before, gave him new children, and a long life. What we can learn from Job’s life story is that even when you have been faced with starting something over again, God has something better for you.
“What will people think?”
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
What man think is best and what God knows is best cannot be compared. Man will tell you all of the things that you should be doing or should have done to live a better life and haven’t done anything to better their own. We even need to be mindful when we seek wise council from others. They may be giving us sound advice; however, there’s nothing like hearing from God Himself. Whether it be from signs and wonders, Him speaking directly to us through prayer or speaking to us through His word. So, don’t let the thoughts and ideas of others outweigh what God says. Regardless of what the world thinks or believes, God is still speaking.
“It’s too late for me. I am clearly too old”
Luke 17:16 “And I will bless her and also give you a son by her; then I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples shall be from her.”
Some of you may be familiar with this story, but for those of you that aren’t, the significance of this verse is that God promised Abraham, the father of all nations, that his wife, Sarah, would bare a son and will become the mother of all nations. The interesting thing about Sarah though was that she was 90 years old when God made this promise. The point I am trying to make is that regardless of how old you are, God can still use you. Don’t allow yourself, society or your aunties who have a hard time minding their own business convince you that you are too old to do what God has called you to do. We are so stuck on timelines that we are quick to forget the scripture, “‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,’says the Lord. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.’” (Isaiah 55:8-9) God is the Governor of your life. Let Him decide when you should keep going and when you should stop.
“Chile…this is embarrassing!”
Joel 2:25 “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust.”
To those of you that are facing the feeling of embarrassment, just know that you are not alone. Chile, I know. You had a whole wedding and invited everybody you knew and pictures were posted all over social media and now you feel like you have to go in hiding since the separation or the divorce. You still occasionally wear the wedding ring just so that people won’t ask you any questions and you avoid attending any events because everybody may be giving you the side eye because you showed up alone AGAIN. Or maybe you have taken a break from social media because your business has flopped and when people inbox or DM you, you leave the message unread because you don’t want to explain what really happened or you give some lame story when someone approaches you in public just so that they won’t know the real deal. Can I just encourage you by letting you know that we serve a God that is a restorer? He may not necessarily restore the very thing that you have lost, but whatever it is that He is restoring in your life, trust and believe that it will be better. We serve a great and faithful God.
So, just keep in mind that whatever stage you‘re at in your life and whatever it is that has caused you to feel stuck or discouraged, you, YES YOU SIS, can and WILL begin again.
Love Always,
Tamika
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